Bittersweet Sufferings

Life is Hard. The last six months or so have been extremely difficult in my life. I truly understand the meaning of suffering in a different way than I’ve ever experienced. I’ve had physical pain & emotional pain on a whole nother level. I have had panic attacks & severe anxiety like I’ve never experienced before in my life. I’m an anxious person but this kind is different. It’s scary. I have had fear of dying at least once a week. I’ve been under extreme spiritual warfare. I literally feel like I’ve had a target on my back since December 31, 2022. It’s been one thing after another and not little things, but life threatening type of things. I’ve had non stop neck pain since January. I have not slept good in 6 months. Sleep has always been my jam so when I can’t sleep it takes a toil on my mental state of mind & body. I’ve experienced more death of friends & loved ones in the past six months than I have in 43 years of my life. I say all of that to let you know the kind of hard things I’ve been experiencing. But life has also been really sweet at the same time. Suffering & sweet blessings do coexist in the same season. We do have to try harder to see the blessings at times because suffering feels so overwhelming at times.

The sweet blessings – the Lord has showed me His love, mercy, grace, & faithfulness in so many ways throughout these 6 months. I’ve had peace even though I’ve had so much pain. I’ve had more joy this season than I have in years. I’ve experienced community in a fresh new way. I have been loved on & prayed over by my friends & women’s small group.
I’ve also had really bad days filled with pain & crippling fear. I wouldn’t even have words to pray only tears to shed. On these days I would either reach out to my people for prayer or someone would randomly text me to let me know they were praying for me. The Lord showed me I wasn’t alone & that He sees me & knows what I need even when I have no words to pray.

My encouragement is this- if you’re in a hard season of life make sure you’re surrounded by people who love you and pray for you. We are not meant to do life alone. If you don’t have people that pray for you, I will pray for you. Call me, text me, or message me & let me know what’s going on. I will pray for you & do my best to be a supportive friend to you.

I wanted to share some of my current life struggles in case someone else might be on the struggle bus too. You aren’t alone. We are all going through something, coming out of something, or about to go into some type of hard circumstance. Suffering is a part of life. And if you’re a Christian it is a bittersweet part of our life. We are called to suffer in order to be like Jesus Christ. If I’m honest I don’t want to suffer at all. But if I am to be like Christ then it’s part of my calling. So if and when I do suffer, I want it to glorify the Lord. Suffering can be used to glorify the Lord when we go through it surrendering our will to the Lord, praising Him through it, and trusting Him even when we don’t understand it. Remind yourself daily that God is in control and He is sovereign over all of it. He is faithful & He will be with us in our sufferings. I am constantly reminding myself of these things especially as I am still in a season of suffering.

“For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1‬:‭5‬ ‭


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