I have been staring at my kitchen walls for weeks trying to decide on what color grey to paint. I have not had much luck narrowing down my search.  I hate the yellow tint illuminating off the walls every time I turn the lights on. But, I don’t know exactly what color grey to paint it. I have replaced kitchen chairs, lights, & even painted my table in hopes that the yellow would fade out a bit. But, it hasn’t really changed anything. I still hate the yellow walls! I know I want a bluish-grey color. I can see it in my head. I just can’t find it in the gazillion grey paint swatches I have looked at…it’s quite overwhelming. So for now, I am stuck with the ugly yellow tint on my kitchen walls.

Thankfully, kitchen walls can be painted and transformed rather quick and easily. But, what about the walls of our hearts? What do you do when there is something ugly inside of you that needs to change? But you don’t know where to start or even how to change it. I hate to tell you, there is no magic paint you can apply to change the condition of your your heart. It takes hard work, soul searching, honesty, & applying God’s word to your life in order to make changes. In the last 7 years, the Lord has shown me the ugly walls inside my heart. I tried to ignore it & cover it up for a while. But, that only kept me stuck and hindered any growth in my life.

img_5384 I had a choice to make. I could either willingly get to work on myself or continue to work at hiding the ugly inside my heart. Both choices required work one way or another. By God’s grace, I chose to work on myself. I prayed, repented, & acknowledged my sin. I had to be honest with myself about my sin & the ugly parts of my heart. Next, I had to confess my sins to the Lord, turn from my sin, & turn to the Lord. Scripture says, “if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14)
I was broken for so long, and did not know how to repair my soul. I could not fix myself on my own. I needed the Lord’s help to do it. The Lord is faithful to forgive & heal us when we come to Him with a contrite & crushed spirit. I desperately needed forgiveness & healing. I poured out the good, bad, & ugly mess that was in my heart. And there was a lot of ugly in my heart, kinda like my ugly yellow kitchen walls. But, over time the Lord healed me & transformed me into something new. Something beautiful. I was not the same. I no longer desired the sinful things of my past. I still struggle with sin, but not like I did before coming to really know the Lord. I didn’t even know I was sinning back then. I thought I was a pretty good person. Wrong! Scripture says, “As it is written: There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one” (Romans 3:10-12). Did you know that? Not even one person is good on their own without God. It is the Lord who makes us good. He loves us so much. He believes in us and knows who we will be one day. He loves us too much to leave us in our sin. But in order to change the ugly walls of our hearts, we have to humble ourselves before the Lord and be willing to let the Lord refine our hearts. It is a painful process, but it’s more painful to stay stuck with a heart that has ugly walls.
Isaiah 66:2…”These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit, and who tremble at my word.”